Who slept with Leo?

This is how I would have positioned myself if I were at the VF Oscar Party and I knew Leo was about to ETR (enter the room). How would you have positioned? Photo Credit: Noah Berg

I went to a movie today. By myself. It was glorious.

I have nothing against doing things alone. I used to travel all the time for work which meant I was often not only dining and exploring alone, I did everything alone. I can not relate to those people who like to travel solo, at all. Oh, a beautiful sunset! No one to share it with. The Taj Mahal! Stranger, take my photo? Expensive wine over handmade pasta in the most charming restaurant in Florence. I’ll have another bottle sir….for myself. I don’t get it.

On a scale of one to ten, this week comes in at a five. I came off of a month that included a big European adventure, my birthday, ski trips, family visits, and solid time at home and next week I head to Tokyo on business and with that travel came a grueling week of deadlines and deliverables, and more of them next week. I needed to get out of my house, but couldn’t muster the desire to put on makeup and socialize. There’s a small independent movie theater about five blocks from my house, so I thought, what better way to totally decompress than to walk those five charming blocks and go to a 4:30pm showing of Carol.

I’ve been meaning to catch up on all the Oscar films and this didn’t disappoint. Nor did my medium salted (with butter) popcorn and large Diet Coke and the ability to take my retainer out to enjoy a show about a love affair between two women in the 1950’s, toothless. God bless dark theaters. I used to love dark theaters so I could make out with my boyfriends, but now I love them because I can eat without my retainer in the dark and not be seen. Yes, you read that right, my front tooth is gone (as of  seventeen days ago | my wrist is also fractured, unrelated), but more to come at a later date, because this is not about me, it’s about something much bigger.

So there I was, in the dark theater watching Carol and right in the middle of the scene where Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara’s characters make love for the first time, I wondered (almost out loud), WHO SLEPT WITH LEO ON THE NIGHT HE WON HIS OSCAR?

Are you guys wondering this as well? I don’t follow celebrity gossip, I gave it up in my mid-twenties after a ton of pressure from my mother (thank you mom), but this, this I want to know. Have there been any guesses? Do you think actresses and models who showed up at the VF Oscar Party were dressed extra sexy in a bold attempt to take the man of the night home? Did he even go there? Where was he and who was there?  It’s not like just because someone wins an Oscar that everyone wants to have sex with them. I mean, sure, it helps, but this is Leonardo DiCaprio, and he’s famous for sleeping with women who aren’t really human…or at least, they don’t look like the women who roam my brunch spots in Denver. And there was SO much hype. And he took it home. So who did he take home? Will we ever know?

Someone keep me posted. Please. I need to know who slept with Leonardo on the night he won his Oscar.




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