October 1st, 2011

I beg your forgiveness…once again (pp-pretty please). I have set a new record for the longest amount of time not writing…shame on moi. I really don’t understand why I let myself do this, because every single time I finish writing I think, God that felt good. I wonder what my life would be like if I were to ignore some of the other things that bring me such pleasure instead of ignoring my blog…probably not as fun. Listed are few of my most pleasured and treasured, which at times I enjoy more than I should (in no particular order)…shopping, manicures, eating out, talking, happy hour, wine, all accessories, kissing, vodka, make-up, staring.

That’s enough.

Pre Wedding:


As you know, my sister got married and I was the maid of honor (huge deal). I was completely freaked out that I was going to be an emo wreck while delivering my big speech….buuuuut….it turned out okay (itwasamazing).

Quick Reminder: I had two speeches that I wrote and had to choose from (gotta have back up people, huge moment). The first, I wrote in my head while laying down in the back of a cab in Curacao because I was a hungover disaster. The second, I wrote on my flight to Paris. I thought FOR SURE the Paris speech was the one, but I recited it to my mother 5 days before the wedding and her reaction was, “Welllll…..we can work with it”. Really? Like I don’t have enough anxiety at this point…. I mean don’t worry about the fact that the wedding is 5 days away and I have been a wreck about this since the age of 12, no worries…I’ll just come up with a third speech, let me get my pen. Anxiety level 8

Two days later after trying (unsuccessfully) to write a third speech, (completely made up funny stories to tell, but embarrassed because my sister and her husband would know I was lying) I told my mom there was a second speech that I wrote months before the Paris speech and would read it to her just to see if we could work with it. After I read it she said, “That’s it.” and so that was it. Anxiety level 5.4

The speech was finished, now I just had to memorize it (ef). And so for the next 5 days I recited it over and over and over. I said it while driving, brushing my teeth, in the bath, it took place of my nightly prayer. I said it ALL the time. The frustrating thing about rehearsing a speech is when you mess up, you totally let it mess you up because you can. When I would miss a word or draw a blank I would pause, curse, hit my dashboard, kick the tub, stop entirely…and then curse some more. Three days before the wedding I went to my best friend’s house to recite it to her and I completely blacked out. Could not remember any of it, not even a little. Although she was super sweet and supportive, I could tell she was worried, very worried for me. Anxiety level 9.8

Once the wedding festivities started I did not have much alone time, actually any at all. Wednesday we had a family dinner where we stuffed welcome gift bags for the out of town guests and put frames in pictures for the rehearsal dinner. Thursday I was running around with my mom, we had the rehearsal dinner, and then went out with the wedding party. Friday we had bride/bridesmaids mani/pedis, bridal luncheon, dinner and drinks to welcome all the out of town guests, and Saturday obvi I was preoccupied.

The Wedding:

Getting Dressed: Makeup, champagne, hair, girl talk, scones and fruit…FUN!! Anxiety 3
Wedding: Nervous wreck about my big moment and being ugly and emo while walking down the aisle…WWPD-What Would Pippa Do? ( Speech temporarily off the mind) Anxiety 8
Pictures: Realized wedding was over and next up was reception aka SPEECH (omfg) Anxiety 13
Trolley: No longer talking to anyone…just staring at my bouquet Anxiety 19
Cocktail Hour: Conversing with people while blacked out (nerves) Anxiety 30

After we were seated at our tables I looked up at the best man and when I saw him, had to laugh…he looked just miserable as I felt. Across the table he sat there staring at his full plate of food and looked as though someone told him his dog had been run over. In the middle of my laughter the planner approached the table and asked if we were ready. When she gave me the microphone I shed all nerves and in a matter of minutes that speech was signed, sealed, delivered! No memory lapses, no hesitations, no blocks, and no cursing…it came out just as I had intended all along (THANK YOU GOD). Anxiety Level…. None, Nada, Gone, Zero, Free, I love life, I love everyone, Peace on Earth, Happiness and good health to all!!

Post Wedding:

Two days after the wedding I went to Naples, FL (MOH’s need a honeymoon too!) for work. My dad and I whined on the phone every single night for a week about how we were suffering from PWS (post wedding syndrome). It was by far the best day of my life. There is something incredibly special about being in one place with every single person you love and care about. After the high always comes the low, but in this case it was just getting back to reality after spending a couple months on cloud “I do”.

Now that I am so confident with my public speaking skills I am thinking of switching to a new line of work….

Lady Politician-I’ll be the first elected official sponsored by Tory Burch

Professional Speaker-I’ll find a topic later

Talk Show-Move over Ellen, it’s time for “Brittany in the Morning”

Professor-I mean, I WAS the TA for a human sexuality class at IU (Kinsey Institute, pretty major)

Pastor Brittany- What if your pastor was a nice, young girl with great outfits and fresh messages to keep Sunday service interesting? I think PB could bring in the masses! **Sidenote**When I was in middle school I wanted to be an undercover nun for a year. I really thought it would be interesting to go behind the scenes and see what really goes on in the life of a nun (I’m pretty sure my vision at the time was was much more Lifetime-esque; drama, affairs, and murder).

Until I figure out my new career path, I will continue with life on the road. Since my last post, some of the highlighted trips have been Seoul, Berlin, New Orleans, and three weeks cruising the Caribbean. I finagled my way to a second row seat at Mercedes Benz Fashion Week-Berlin, and it was a DREAM. Brittany in Berlin-Coming soon.