Good Evening…



Wedding- My one and only sister is getting married on October 1st. This is a very big deal and I am very nervous. I am nervous, not because I have a problem speaking in front of crowds, but because I am an incredibly emotional person.

*Side note- A highly recommended therapist once said to me, “Brittany, you are very emotional and that means you are probably a very good sexual partner”. I was 17 years old, had just come from tennis practice, and had never been to a therapist. He also told me I had nice legs. That was my first and last time with him or any other therapist at that…besides our family therapist but that’s a story in itself.

Wedding continued- My nervousness for this wedding stems from the fact that not only am I very emotional, but so is my sister, mother, father (most emo of all), aunt, uncle (big tough guy, total basket case), both grandmothers, and all great aunts. Needless to say, I come from a family of emotionally charged people and I’ve got to get ahold of mine before my big, shining moment! MOH Mission: Find a way to drain the ducts.

Option one: Drink a lot of champagne- Could make me even more emo…too risky.

Option two: Take a Valium- Could make me emo-less…no go on the V.

Option three: Fake Laryngitis-9th grade, World History, Doc Holiday…first oral presentation ever. Throw in some popular junior and senior guys and you’ve got one intimidated young lady. About to vomit, I approached Doc’s desk and informed (whispered) to him that I, for some reason, had lost my voice?! CLEARLY he would understand that I was unable to give my oral presentation that day and postpone it until next period. Did he? No. What did he do? He took my report from my hand and, as I was sure going to rip it up, went over to the podium and read my entire 6 page report to the class. That afternoon Doc Holiday gave me a whole new confidence that I took and still run with. Lesson Learned: If you believe you can get away with something, chances are you will. However, can not pull this at my sister’s wedding. Ironically, one of the guys I was so nervous to speak in front of will be in the audience. Full circle, people.

Everyone keeps telling me that if I recite my speech over and over again that the speech will just become words and the tears will stop, but every single time I say it in my head I start to cry….every…single…time. In my car, in cabs, on planes, in the mirror, in the bath, in the kitchen, in my bed…everywhere. I wrote my speech on my flight to Paris (Yes that felt glamorous to say) and I was literally sobbing (actual noises) while typing it out. I am ninety three percent positive the woman next to me thought that I was writing my fiances’ eulogy (no, I am not engaged, but it was that intense).

Final Decision: Going eau natural. No booze, no pills, no faux illness. Natural is better and even if it takes me a box of tissues and some pride (ugly crier). Cheers!

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