No Lifeguard On Duty

I almost died tonight. This is very real and after my brush with death I thought about how long it would take before housekeeping came in and found my body laying in cold water. It was disturbing and I made a vow right then and there that I will never attempt yoga poses while in a bathtub…ever again…especially when alone.

I walked into my hotel room for the first time on Monday and was, for one second, in awe and then suddenly so depressed that I was all alone and had no one to share THE SEXIEST hotel room ever with (Even just a girlfriend!). I opened the door to a completely dark room and when I stepped inside the shades slowly started opening (the ENTIRE wall is floor to ceiling glass overlooking Vegas), dim lights came on and soft music started playing….ummmmm where have I been? Clearly not staying in the hotels where cool people sleep…or don’t sleep. So for the past two days I have been consumed with my uber sexy room….from the foyer, to the bathroom, the bed, and everything in between. Since I am staying here for 12 nights I have started to pretend (I’m really good at it) that this is my condo and I am this totally rich, 25 year old girl that could not be more unaware of the fact that I am living in such fab digs. Each evening after work I get into my huge, egg shaped tub (Pour exactly one bottle of the bath gel they supply) and soak like a goddess. I point my toes in the air and slide all the way in until I am underwater and my back is touching the bottom of the tub (Occasional scissor kicks)….basically I have way too much fun in the bath for a serious career lady of twenty five years.

Today I felt like death (Pretty sure it’s all the recycled air I am breathing in). I decided that I needed to REALLY pamper and relax myself tonight in order to refresh myself for another long day tomorrow. I had the “Music for Lovers” channel playing, the lights down super low, and the water extra hot so I was feeling super limber and loose in my bath and decided to try out this move I saw Lindsey Lohan do in a photo shoot the other day (I watched a video of the shoot online). She was in this yoga looking position where her spine was rounded and her knees touched her forehead and toes were pointed straight ahead (Divers do it off the high dive). So as I was easing into my position, my back slipped down the edge of the tub (Stupid bath gel) and I slid all the way down until my head was completely under the water, I guess I gasped when I went under because bath water rushed into my mouth!!! I got my hands on the bottom of the tub, pushed my head above the water, and spit the water out, coughing, and fighting to catch my precious breath… Obviously no one was there to rush to my side and ask me if I was okay (Which sucked) and so I just sat there… stunned… in silence. I thought of everything that I would never get to see if I had died then and there, my gorgeous husband, my white (or black can’t decide) Range Rover, my children (Names can’t be revealed) , my home in Colorado and my brownstone in the West Village. My heart ached when I imagined never seeing my family or my purses again and I decided then and there that I was not ready to leave the world just yet and I will do whatever it takes to stay safe while on this crazy journey I have just begun.

Lesson Number One Learned on the Road..Never attempt photo shoot/yoga poses while in the water sans photographer or lifeguard.

Woman on the Rise

Someone must be pleased with my GG (Good Girl) attempts this year, because as I begged, wished, and prayed, 2010 is treating me very well! This BG (Bad Girl) landed herself a big girl job! Not only did I land a job, but a job that I fits me like a luxurious, satin glove. My job requires travel around 220 days a year….and that includes LOTS of international travel….hello Paris, Barcelona, and Sydney!! This job could not have come at a better time…no rent and no ring means I get to prance around the world with not only an open mind, but also a very open heart! Bring on ze sexy men with accents that make this American girl melt like fro yo on a hot summer day!

I never pictured myself as a real life SCL (Serious Career Lady) and when I found out that I would be traveling in business attire, I almost choked on my latte. I am the girl at the airport in slouchy Juicy sweat pants, a white v, tons of jewelry, and oversized sunglasses (kinda like to pretend like I am Nicole Ritchie at the AP). Goodbye hippie headbands and leggings with cowboy boots at the term and hello slacks and cardigans….it was a VERY hard pill to swallow. On my return flight from my first SCL business trip to Chicago, I wore a black suit and realized that it can be quite fun in a very different way to be in business clothes when traveling.

This morning as I was getting ready to leave for my second work trip, I decided that I was going to go for the SSBL (Super Sexy Business Lady) look. Black pencil skirt, black cardigan, and four inch black J. Simps stilettos, oh my! Let me tell you something ladies, I don’t know what it is, but there must be something about a working woman that men like, because the treatment I am getting today is much more than I ever have received before in an AP! As I boarded my flight (Southwest) I was trying to decide where to sit and a man stood up and pointed to the seat next to him and told me I could sit with him, he then grabbed my carry on and put it overhead for me, (Thanks sir!). I went to the restroom just as they were taking refreshment orders and I asked him to get me a Sprite Zero, when I came back he told me he ordered me a vodka to go with it (I thanked him, but insisted that he drink it…SCL’s always arrive sober to work!). On my way to the restroom a man in an aisle seat asked me if I would like a chip, (Dead Serious), I thanked him and politely declined (I really wanted to accept, but my pencil skirt begged me not to). This flight has now made me realize that just because I am not 22 years old and in my shabby chic attire, that I am growing into an SCL that is getting much more attention from all the traveling gents. As of mid flight today, I now wear the white topaz JF ring I got for my 21st birthday on my right ring finger instead of the left, don’t want to give anyone the wrong idea, this SCL does not have a ring on it!

* The above was written while on my flight to Vegas today…when I walked out of the airport there was a line around 47 people deep to get a cab… the guy in charge pulled the barricade open and told me to “Come in here”….I was in the next cab. I guess it pays to be polished!