Progress Report for Brittany Twenty Ten

Growing up, I always dreaded the time of the year when parent/teacher conferences took place. For some reason, I always got a lecture when my parents got home. My grades were never the problem, but my socializing was. It was always the same thing, “Brittany is sweet, obedient (for the most part), and an overall good student, but she just talks too much and it is distracting to others”. I’m pretty sure every single one of my teachers, grades 1-5, moved my desk next to theirs at some point during the year. Sorry for being nice! I thought we were taught in pre-school to share, be social, and to communicate with our classmates. Some people were super good at math and science, I was good at socializing, but for some reason, I was the only one being punished! So I have decided that this year I will give myself my own progress report, where socializing is encouraged and if you have to count with your fingers…it is NOT held against you. My report is as follows;

As January comes to an end, I must say that I have been extremely good about working on my resolutions for the new year. I have been a lot more proactive when it comes to the job search, well at least better than I was before. My dad says it should be a full time job in itself, I would say at this point it’s more along the lines of a part time job/volunteer gig, but there is definitely a pulse! As far as dates are concerned, I have turned down a few (still scarred from Burt boy), but when a sexy, smart, guy with long, bad boy hair and an angelic face (aka Kurt Cobain/Jared Leto/Ethan Hawk circa Reality Bites, you get it) comes along…I will most definitely let him wine and dine me. As far as my good judgement….well….that’s still a work in progress. I can however, say that my work on my outer beauty is going really well! (It’s just so much more fun than the others’) I have been flossing every day, went “bad girl” blonde with my locks, currently living off of skinny vanilla lattes, sugar free gum, and beef broth (I’ve given up on dieting the healthy way, heroin chic/waif by summer!), and have been keeping up on my mani/pedies. And guess what? Since I feel better on the outside, I am feeling much better on the inside (Told you it can work both ways). Also, remember my little army of Ole (pronounced Oooo-La as in “Oooo la la look at Brittany’s glowing skin!”) Henriksen products? Well, I will admit, we got started off on the wrong J. Simps heel (Never buy a clear face mask). I was doing really well with my skin regimen and then one day I woke up with FOUR solid, red, zits on my face!!! If I can say one thing, it’s that I never really had to deal with acne or zits (I get ONE thing to brag about, there are literally 137 things I hate about myself other than that). I felt hurt, confused, offended, betrayed! Why was this expensive, allegedly amazing stuff ruining my skin?! The line that JT, who brought sexy back with his clear face, swore by, the line that Charlize (THE face of Dior) said “J’Adore” to?! Well, just as I was about to flush it all down the toilet and go back to my $9 bottle of Aveeno, that has always done me right, I realized what the problem was (and it was not my army taking the other side), just two days before, when I got out of the bath, I generously applied my new blue/black berry enzyme mask (supposed to do wonders for wrinks). It’s a clear mask and you can’t feel it after you put it on (must be good!). Problem with that? You can VERY easily forget that you have the mask on. I put it on at roughly three in the afternoon, went to happy hour, came home a little happier than I expected, went right to bed and did not wash off my mask until my morning soak the next day around 10am. The directions say to leave the mask on for 30 minutes….I left it on for 19 hours. Oopsie. Sorry Ole, for blaming you for my own stupidity. A week and a half later my skin is well on it’s way to happy and healthy. Now if only I could get myself to drink more than one bottle of water every other day, then I really could have the skin of a 14 year old model! (I know, just let me dream) Progress report states (drum roll): Solid A for positivity, enthusiasm, and effort! Probably not what my therapist or parents would give me, buuuut this is my progress report on moi, not theirs!

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